Cleaning and organizing day
Sep 4, 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2R8vOzZq52I

well you guys this is what happens when
you strip your kids room and you realize
they have more toys than they even know
what to do with so in return they start
getting broken and accumulate to nothing
but garbage so we're gonna go through
today and we are going to go through all
the toys even in there and we're going
to be doing a whole bunch of donating
and throwing out broken toys I don't
even want to know what is on that but
anyways yes that is what we are doing
today and again I'm not showing myself a
monkey I'm not covered and you guys this
is from the toy box we have got to
downsize and literally I have already
gotten rid of like four bags of toys not
including a whole bunch more that I'm
not in bags I'll show you guys when
we're completely done this is not so I
clearly have more cleaning to do but I
wanted to show you guys I did get all
the toys done look yes that is me doing
all of that let me tell you I am so
tired I am exhausted my back is killing
me
but I still have from here to here to
straighten up and obviously a little
piece of garbage that landed somewhere I
don't know my child yelling at the
neighbors yes and then after that it
will be done and then oh my god
then I've got to come in here and put of
course stuff away that gets put wherever
because my family or you know I'm cool
anyways and here's the mess of my
kitchen but I'm totally going to have to
play next because it's not gonna clean
itself yay yay good times for working
out right
I call this my workout today and then
it's like you clean one room and then
it's no matter what another one's gonna
go to mess so then I gotta come over
here I get to straighten my table I mean
does sit down clean my entryway of
course it's not gonna again in itself
keep it going
hopefully my kids did not destroy my
bathroom too much it's just gotta get
the time I write down fix myself is that
drives me nuts
hey let's show you the remaining part of
Jeremiah's room excuse the walls
remember I told you boys kids with color
grounds but we did get it done did we
did let's check let's check mine go
oh yay another room I get to clean again
I saw you guys it's never-ending but I
promise when I check it again it will be
done okay
so finished
you guys I'm so tired I'm exhausted this
don't leave that part over there on the
couch but Victor I'll get that part
later
this child is clearly hungry and wanted
macaroni and cheese so I'm gonna go make
some food for him before he just you
know passes out but I just want to show
you my job to you guys so I am finally
done cleaning today I don't have any
more I do not have any more strength or
energy to clean any more I am so tired I
am purely exhausted this is the second
day that I have been cleaning I cleaned
all day yesterday pretty much all day
yesterday
plus I dealt with the kids all day
because all he was working
and then today he was home so he got the
garage done which thank God because this
is just been something that's been
bugging me and I have been wanting to
get the garage done since the beginning
of summer but it just seemed like
something always came up that we just
clearly could not get the garage done
but it was definitely something we
needed to get done especially before
winter so we have a little bit of things
to do but nobody nobody but we're pretty
much almost done we've gotten we got out
like oh I don't even want to estimate
but I well I don't want to guess because
I'm probably gonna be way off but I will
say we probably got about easily 15 bags
garbage bags full of clothes and toys
from just the kids like two bags of
clothes of mine that's been in the
garage this whole time and I've been
wanting to get rid of it
and I was gonna give it to my mom where
she comes from like their little town or
whatever it's like I don't want to see
it's like really poor but it's there
they don't have a lot of work and stuff
so money is very tight when it comes to
like families being able to afford like
new clothes and stuff like that so she
was telling me that you know some of the
kids didn't even have like new clothes
or anything and you know my kids as
clothes are I do keep him very well-kept
so I was just like mom I've got tons and
tons of bags of clothes for kids I've
got a couple bags of clothes of mine
that are big woman's you know and it's
hard to come by big women clothes so I
was gonna give it all to her but I've
been trying to get ahold of her all day
long and she's not answering her cell
phone or the home in fact Ollie is
actually bringing me subway from Subway
from Subway that makes a lot of sense
told you I'm tired he's bringing me
subway for a dinner
because I just I don't feel like cooking
I don't feel like waiting for him to
cook food I have the kitchen clean and
I'm like if anybody knows does this
kitchen you're gonna be finding yourself
a new family today I am drained and
finally my back is kind of like okay I
mean I think I think we've had enough
the last couple of days and then I was
sitting on our ottoman when I was going
through like the kids toys so I was like
leaning forward down back and forth back
foot so now my stomach muscles feel like
literally feel like I sat and did like a
hundred setups even though I was sitting
up doing it it would have been a great
vlog to show you guys but I just I was
so tired and I'm cranky I'm so cranky
I'm so drained and my kids you know kids
know when you're on your last nerve and
they just felt that funny way of being
like you think you are upset now oh wait
and I mean I just test you a little bit
more see how much more I can get away
with that's where my kids are today so
needless to say mommy can't wait for
bedtime
Claire will be taking a shower and a
little bit I mean my eyes are they're
bloodshot and that's how tired I am I
haven't I really I probably have not
been this tired since I've had the
babies I'm tired I cannot stress that
enough
but anyways
they've just especially I don't know why
but my has just been Justine every nerve
every nerve and I'm just like son if you
don't want me to put you in a FedEx box
and FedEx you to a known unknown land
you best leave me alone you
get me like okay whatever it's a preteen
age thing it really is and I think too
cuz I was talking to Holly a little bit
of go cuz I just like I was so Thank You
Ben for straighted and I think I'm just
clearly really frustrated because it's
like you know I I work so hard lately
you know I know yeah I know that I just
started but I've been working so hard
lately to get like the house clean and
organized and back in working motion the
way that I like it it's not it's not
exactly the way that I want it because I
mean in a perfect world it would be no
messes everything would be in its
perfect spot there'd be nothing to do
because I'd have it all done every
single day but in the reality of life
I've got you know three children two
under the age of you know four and
clearly right there is gonna be messes
in itself and then you get the oldest
sibling that has you know coloring
crayons and markers and you name it he's
got it and the little ones get ahold of
it and then it's like let's have a war
fest of art all over the walls and I
didn't even know like half of that I
seen a little bit of it and at that
point I thought that Maya had put
everything away so I didn't think any
more about it
and so today when I went in there I was
just like oh my gosh like are you
kidding me and you know and I know that
I have mentioned this before but this is
a rental and my landlord is going to
he's probably gonna kill me like the way
that that bedroom looks the rest of the
house is I mean yeah there's some
coloring marks in the kit to the living
room part which I plan on but I mean for
the most part you know you walk around
and I don't have color marks everywhere
I mean we have neon
walls you know that we've dealt with in
black walls but I mean for the most part
you know the walls are kept well and I
always had a thing about people touching
walls I couldn't stand when somebody
would walk through my house or kids to
walk through mouth and touch the walls
I'm just like get your hands off the
walls now it's like I can't stop them
for anything and so anyways you know
just working as hard as I can to keep
everything together and it's like and I
go in that room and it was just so
filthy and so just I just looked at him
like are you kidding me
like really I mean I've told I tell you
to clean your room every day and you
come on you told me it's done and it's
like how how was it how is it done if
you know it's so purely messy and so
yeah I just I'm glad that we're getting
everything done especially you know like
I said because schools going back into
session Wednesday I'm gonna be so busy
tomorrow trying to get stuff together
for him and Olli and him have their
back-to-school meet the teacher thing
that they're gonna go to tomorrow night
so there's a lot that we have going on
the next couple of days but I just think
that things are gonna calm down so much
once you know school goes back all he
just came with my denter although I told
him to get me beat plays original but I
mean it's only 240 calories for the bag
which I mean it does seem like a lot but
all I've had today was a small breakfast
sounds for breakfast and then I had a
turkey sandwich for lunch and that's all
and I mean I have been on non-stop
non-stop going so you sure have enough
for my calories but anyway
he just got me the state with everything
spinach
yummy um anyways so was a good day which
is a very long day and I can pretty much
foresee the Restless sleepiness yeah
felt the same just because of us getting
prepared for back to school and stuff
like that so I don't know how was your
guys's day today
it was beautiful here too
got a little bit warm about three
o'clock but we haven't been turning the
air on because we finally got our
screens fixed when we moved in here they
had a dog
somebody had a dog and it tore holes in
all of the springs arts
screech can't even talk the screens and
so it prevented us from being able to
open our windows because it would let
the bugs in and then you've got Omar you
know bug freak and if it wasn't for that
the kids were putting their toys through
the little holes and so then the little
holes turned into big holes and yeah it
just became a bill mess and so we
finally took them in and hundred seventy
dollars later uh we didn't pay for it
um we got those free is this I may keep
calling the springs about the screens
fixed that's why I like my windows are
all open because I prefer like natural
air I love it you know cuz there's fake
here you know that makes a lot of sense
to um well you're delirious try not to
make a video because you really won't
make much sense anyways
I like the error in the natural light is
what I'm trying to say and for the
longest time we never like open the
windows and it's like okay I can't I
didn't like going feeling a little
little too claustrophobic in here and so
we eventually went and got him fixed and
so we haven't been turned the air on
for this last like four days and
normally we turn it on like every day
all day because I can't stand being hot
but it's been really nice and then once
winter comes our fall comes it'll be
really nice when we can open up the
windows and just get that fresh breeze
through the whole house can't wait I
cannot wait
and
I've seen a couple people posting
shopping malls or Target in the dollar
section that I showed you guys before
and they've got some of the most cutest
fall decor it is taking everything out
of me not to go and buy stuff but I
gotta stay true to my balance and stay
on my budget we clearly don't need fall
decor right now it's not gonna kill me
but I want it so so bad but I mean even
if it's a dollar you know that dollar
that I'm spinning could definitely go
into something else that is more of a
necessity right now and that's why I
Justin like now I mean this stuff is
very cute they've got most beautiful
stuff at even Dollar Tree but it's just
like you know it adds up so yeah it
might be a dollar but when you go and
spend you know things are you know ten
items that for ten you know ten dollars
for I tell you guys it's probably safe
for me just talking to go and get ten
items for a dollar each that's ten
dollars and that adds up and clearly I
am if I go I would not just beginning
tonight UM's
I already know myself
stop Nathan I try it not gonna go there
I figure that I will just wait I mean I
think of it as this way I mean yes it's
important to make a home where you're
living which I have because before I had
Omar no yeah
before I had Omar I was really having a
lot of issues because
I'm sorry I don't know why the light
keeps changing like that I apologize so
because it's really bugging me so it's
not really any vice anyways
I would decorate but I wouldn't agree if
that made sense I'd have a few things
here there you know but I never made it
personal I remember telling ollie
it was um after I had Omar and when I
got pregnant with us where I'm still
like the where the walls were bare and
it was just like you know it just left
it felt like a temporary home and the
sad thing about that is that all my life
I have technically felt like I always
lived in a temporary home I never had a
home that was able to fill 100% you know
I mean my last home that I was in before
you know being out of foster care was
the longest-standing
home that I had been in because every
home everyone prior to that
I would literally be in them cuz if we
would move we moved every Christmas Eve
mium I would get operated and
I'm gonna clarify something really quick
because I find myself doing this quite a
bit and I want to be really honest with
you guys I think that you know you guys
deserve it and I trust you guys
but I say we meet a lot and us because I
do have a sibling um I have a brother
he's older than me by three years but I
choose not to bring him into my youtube
channel for multiple reasons but we live
total different lifestyles I have tried
for you know multiple years to try and
have a healthy relationship with him but
he has chosen to not get the help that
he needs for past things and things that
he deals with today and I choose not to
continue to put myself in the position
of being an enabler and I choose not to
allow my children around that you know
that environment or myself it's not
healthy
and so I haven't spoke to him since
Omar's first birthday and I'm totally
okay with that like I mean it was hard
at first but I mean I've gotten over
that point but I do catch myself saying
us a lot and I tried really hard to just
leave that portion of my life out but I
think that it's a very important key to
a lot of things that I have gone through
and that he has also gone through so I
think that there's times that I will
probably talk about him
and I just want you guys to know you
know when the time is right and the
story is there I will you know share
more about him but I don't want to bring
light into him I'm not gonna mention his
name I don't want to do any of that I
will keep all of that private just for
his sake I guess and for my sake as well
so I just wanted to clarify that because
I've said that quite a few times and you
know I'm sure people have caught on like
what is she why does she keep saying us
and we and she's never mentioned she's
had it sembly that's why I do have a
sibling but I just choose not to have
that relationship with them so anyways
beyond that
we would get uprooted
every Christmas Eve my thing I've shared
this part with you guys before um every
Christmas Eve we get up bertin and sent
to the next home reason being because
that was the winter break for school
which really sucked because growing up
we knew that in December we would lose
all of our friends all the structure we
had from that one period of school I
went to 11 different schools growing up
I had multiple learning disabilities
because of being passed by so many
schools that every school you go to by
the time I got into December they were
already into Anna Crick ulam and you
know their own stuff that when I'm
coming into a new thing it just totally
would throw me off and so I'd have to
play a lot of catch-up to get to the
point where I would be with the rest of
the class okay put that in the trash can
I put it in the trash can please okay
I'm eating please mm-hmm
no no what you can't use that that's a
cleaning wipe you uh-huh
who gave that to you
okay go put them in the garbage you can
get a regular YP yeah yeah mm-hmm you so
she goes on to climb the walls mmm
anyways um and so I always had to play
that ketchup you know to to get back on
track where they were at and you know
trying to meet new friends and knowing
that those friendships were only gonna
last a little while you know taught me
to never allow people to get close to me
because I was just gonna leave them
eventually
so it was really hard and it still
sometimes is hard to let people in and
trust people and their friendships
because it's just not it's not something
that comes easy for me anymore because I
was taught not to and with my learning
disabilities I did get on an IEP which
is where they help you one-on-one and
and I mean that helped but I mean I was
pretty long gone lost when it came to
school I did eventually I got my GED I
did graduate
I mainly did that because I wanted to go
to culture cosmetology college and I
knew that you had to have your high
school diploma or GED and so I was like
oh no uh-huh
gotta go get it so I did but with that
mm-hmm was that meant yeah okay go so
done with it
but went that is okay anyways um back to
what we were talking about so every home
pretty much felt like a temporary home
like I never felt like I had a permanent
home so once I had estra by like four
months five months I finally told Olli I
was like honey I have to make this home
our home like I have to know that I am
making memories here I know that this is
just you know this is a rental it's not
you know like our home but I need to put
some character into it I need to put
some excuse me some love into it and he
knew how important that was to me and I
remember him telling me you know what
you mean
let's go
we're gonna go the store we're gonna go
get everything that you want and I was
so relieved and so we went to Bed Bath &
Beyond or no yeah
Bed Bath and Beyond and good god they're
expensive they are so expensive I think
I think we've spent like $200 and we got
I mean we got stuff but it was just like
well but then we IND dup so that was
just one night and then I started
hitting up my local goodwills and you'd
be amazed at the stuff you find a
Goodwill's let me tell ya I like my
goodwill um
99% of the things that we have hanging
in our house I got from Goodwill and I
am proud to say it because you know what
I was able to bring those things home
personalize them to my own self and make
this home feel like a home and not just
a temporary short stay and that was such
an amazing relief for me and it was very
important to also make my kids feel like
this is their home and not just a
temporary State I never wanted my
children to ever grow up and feel like
they were unsure where they're gonna be
next and I want that stay ability for
them so like you know I mean me and all
you've talked about unless there's an
unfortunate event where you know
landlord cows and like sells this place
or something we will be here until it's
time to buy our own home and make that
our permanent
you know our permanent move because I
don't want to uproot my children I don't
want to uproot Jeremiah you know he's
already in school he's doing amazing
he's got friends from you know he went
into this school he's in now in first
grade but then I pulled him out to try
and homeschool him which was the worst
mistake ever so now that I couldn't
homeschool him but Jeremiah also deals
with a lot of learning issues and so for
him and I put together trying trying to
teach each other man
was not working so I decided to put him
back into school but he had already kind
of missed some of the stuff and so we
ended up deciding to go ahead and pull
him back and so he repeated first grade
which was the best decision we could
have ever made also I mean he hid the
way that his birthday runs anyways they
worked out so it's not like he's way
over the age of the rest of the kids
like they all end up at the same age so
it wasn't like a UH okay you know he's
gonna be the oldest in the class he is
for a couple months but
most of the kids are same ages him so
that works out but he excelled so much
in the last two years that it blew me
away
it literally blew me away I'm the good
thing about it is they gave him his same
teacher from keen eager first grade they
gave it to him again and I think that
really worked for him and it made me
feel so good to know that she was
working so hard and then his second
grade teacher was amazing third grade
teacher I didn't know much much about
her in the sense that you know for the
first and second I was very involved
emailing constantly but when I would
email the the third grade teacher I just
didn't feel like I had that connection
with her like I did with the other you
know previous teachers well that's okay
you know it's all right it's not a big
deal he still did good and when we got
his last report card for this year it
was all straight A's and two B's I think
he did amazing and all of the comments
were just he's you know he's excelling
he's achieving things that we never
thought he would he's raising his hand
and talking he's making friends which
was really hard for him he went with
half of the year not talking to anybody
because he was too shy
he did really really good and
I can't wait to see what this year has
for him and the good thing about it is
he now has friends established with him
that he can't wait to go and see them
which again makes me feel so good to
know that he's looking forward to school
so that that's definitely a good feeling
but yeah so I don't know I just I've
been really working I think now that you
know I am losing the weight and it's
getting easier for me to move I'm
clearly doing more than I probably
should at one time but I don't care and
nothing can hold me back now you know
and that's just it is we're so long my
weight held me back and now that my
weight can't hold me back nothing can
hold me back
you know I'll leave constantly is honey
just go sit down and rest your feet go
sit down and put your legs up I'm just
like no no and he's just like come on
you're doing so much I'm like I know but
I'm gonna keep doing it because I'm
working harder this
it was just like great feeling to know
that I am being able to
pitch in and help out and be able to do
more you know for my family then I've
been able to do in a long time it's
definitely an amazing feeling I had
talked to Tammy Tammy Slaton
we were snapping each other back and
forth and she started the shake drink
and so you know we told her don't ever
worry about like feeling like you can't
talk to me you know I mean always feel
like you can reach out to me then to me
whatever you got to do so that you can
make it through these days because it's
gonna be it's gonna be mighty hard doing
shapes but I am so happy that she has
chosen to start really taking losing
weight serious and I just hope that she
continues it's just you know when I hear
her in her videos and she talks about
how her knees you know they feel like
they rub bone to bone in her back hurts
and she just has a hard time getting up
and walking I you know I told Ollie I
said I can totally relate like I I know
what she's talking about
I know the feeling because right before
I started losing weight I would tell
Ollie the same thing I even told my
doctor it feels like I'm walking
bone-on-bone like I seriously feel like
my knees are going to collapse with each
other my back has like feels like it's
going to break like it literally feels
like it's going to crack and just since
getting that 40 pounds off it doesn't it
really hasn't clicked how much weight
that really is other than I look at
espera and espera is 34 pounds I want to
say so she's almost what I have lost and
I've carried her around a couple times
just to remind myself of like what I
carried on my back every single day and
40 pounds is a lot off of me but I would
just love to see Tami get to a point
where she can start walking
I am the slowest eater when I'm talking
to you guys
normally I just have this thing down um
but I would love to see her get to the
point where she can start walking and
just live
live pain free you know and not feel
like she's imprisoned because of her
pain that she endures that it's better
just to sit because to stand up is so
painful and so I just have been
encouraging her so much just you know
telling her she can do it you know and
she's got to do it whatever was gonna
best work for her know where am I at a
place in my life even to tell her what I
think or my opinion I've really learned
through my own journey that it takes
yourself to do it if you start listening
to everybody else and everybody else's
opinions and you start accommodating all
of their opinions into your you know
your lifestyle you'll never succeed
because you can never do 50 million
things that make them all work just not
gonna happen and if you're worried about
upsetting somebody that's another thing
it's not gonna work
and here I'm here talking to you guys
I've got food all over isn't that great
I just work I always feed my shirt you
must be hungry all the time are you just
like my head down right here and just
fall asleep with the selfish um but I
mean I remember you know I would start
something and then people would be like
well you can't have this and you
shouldn't be doing this and you should
try this and you've got to do this and
it's like no no I really don't I really
don't have to do any of that and but I
would try and listen
to make people happy
but what would happen is I would get
frustrated and I would get frustrated
and then it would end up making me just
throw the talent and be like okay never
mind just forget it I'm just I can't and
that's not fair to myself
that's what was really important for me
to not do that with her not make her
feel like you know she has to do
something or you know she's gonna
whatever you want to say let me down or
you know disappoint me because it's not
my journey that's not it's not my place
to say something to her you know like
that my job is to be there to you know
encourage her but not tell her how to do
it because what happens is she can't do
it the way that I want her to do it
she's gonna feel like she failed already
and that's when people give out hands
like no I don't want to do that to you
she's asked my opinion but I reversed it
and I put it right back on huh all right
well what would you not what I want
because your journey is different than
mine everybody's journey is different if
there's not one same journey you might
all be I even on the same pages of doing
these same things Quito and all that
great wonderful but your journeys are
different 4-wire doing them I might be
doing Quito because of whatever reasons
you know but everybody has their own
past situations that have led them to be
and even the situation they're at and so
I just told her I'm like I will keep
putting it back on you because I'm not
gonna say oh it's my this is what I
think or whatever and so anyways
I can't do regular trips anymore whoa
there well nevermind that completed my
dinner but anyways I hope you guys had a
good day today like I said earlier I am
so sorry that my vlog has sucked last
two days it's definitely not what I've
been trying to do is just I think
because these also couple days I've been
so busy trying to get stuff together
like I said because of Jeremiah and
stuff but I promise promise promise that
things are gonna be settling back down I
will get back to my working really hard
on doing my day vlogs because I know
that's something you guys really enjoy I
tried to do a little bit today but it's
really hard to because if I'm not
covered I can't put myself on camera so
if I get on camera I don't show my face
that's because I'm not I don't have by
covering on and that's just because I
will grab the phone back oh here let me
catch this so you'll hear me talking and
stuff but you just don't see my face um
but anyways so I'm hoping to to get
things going a little bit better get my
schedule under control a little bit more
and to be able to start giving you guys
some good comment so blue comb tinge so
anyways I think I'm gonna close here
because I'm gonna go take a shower I'm
really from being hot and sweaty I just
want to go take a shower and get my kids
in their pajamas and literally crash
like crash hard tonight because I am
just pooped
so anyways I love you guys thank you so
much for checking in on me all the time
I appreciate it
and I will see you guys tomorrow bye
[Music]
